(Photo by Danese Kenon/The Indianapolis Star)

For John Garrett, accounting got a lot funnier once he quit being an accountant. Two-and-a-half years ago, Garrett left his numbers-crunching job to pursue stand-up comedy full time.

Now, instead of spending his days calculating in a cubicle, he's either honing his jokes -- some about accounting -- here in Indianapolis or on the road at clubs around the country.

Garrett, who has made appearances on "The Bob & Tom Show," hasn't looked back since leaving his day job.

He made the big move after working on his stand-up skills for five years while still accounting full time.

"My comedy skills started to get better while things with my accounting job were just the opposite," he said.

Garrett's manager didn't understand why comedy was more important than accounting.

"So I decided the best way was to go all in and do what I love," he said.

CPA daze

While staying as far away from accounting as possible since then -- he won't even do his own taxes -- Garrett, 31, still talks about himself as an accountant onstage.

That's his shtick, his hook.

"It definitely helps to have an identity. I'm the Accountant Guy. That's something that sets me apart from every other guy who does comedy," he said. "Sometimes a person will be funny, but when they walk away, you say, 'Who was that?' For me, it's easy: the Accountant Guy."

But Garrett's offbeat, observational jokes -- available on a CD for sale on his Web site -- move quickly away from the world of "Office Space," "Dilbert" and "The Office."

"Everybody doesn't work in a cubicle, so I want to have my jokes relate to a wide variety of people," he said.

So he makes fun of everything from the people of Shreveport, La., to sweet tea to crock pots.

"I try to make a conscious effort with my jokes to have them be something different than what you've heard before," Garrett said. "Even if I'm addressing a common theme, I like to give it my own perspective."

And he's always on the lookout for things that don't fit together, like an environmental plate on a Hummer.

"I'm a big fan of irony, of seeing things that are together but shouldn't be together," he said. "I like it when you see something that everyone else doesn't seem to see. It's like 'The Twilight Zone.'."

Cussing's dumb

And most of these observations are clean in content -- like the work of Garrett's comedy heroes: Jerry Seinfeld, Bob Newhart, and Steve Martin.

"The biggest reason is that it looks stupid when I swear," Garrett said. "I don't naturally do it offstage. It's not really who I am. And when I do curse, people say it's 'cute.' If you're bringing out an F-bomb, you aren't going for 'cute.'"

Ultimately, Garrett is his own favorite target. "People enjoy it when you make fun of yourself," Garrett said. "I get in plenty of body blows on myself at the beginning before I start to target everybody else."

Some of John Garrett's jokes:

"Hearing jokes from an accountant is like hearing dating stories from the guy in tech support."

"McRib is the deadbeat dad of the fast-food sandwiches. Gone for six months, comes back for a week or two and expects us all to be excited about it. Where's McRib been for so long? Locked up with the Hamburglar?"

"I have come to the conclusion that a crock pot is a microwave with a learning disability. Oh, they'll get the job done. It just takes them a whole lot longer."