September 11, 2003

By Roger Schlueter

Did you hear the one about the young accountant from New Baden who began to dabble in stand-up comedy?

Wait, it gets funnier: John Garrett thought that if he wrote one of Hollywood’s comic geniuses, he’d actually get some free advice for his fledgling pursuit.  Can you imagine Jimmy Brogan, head writer for Jay Leno for nearly a decade, taking time to reply to this unknown wannabe?  How funny can you get, right?

Now, here’s the punch line: That short letter three years ago quickly blossomed into a deep and lasting friendship between the newcomer and the pro.  So, you may find Garrett still pinching himself when he, Brogan and TV veteran Owen Smith take the Lincoln Theatre stage for a night of laughs at 9:30 p.m. Saturday.

They bill themselves as The Laughing Irish, because all three are graduates of Notre Dame University – albeit separated by nearly three decades.  That’s how Garrett learned about Brogan in the first place – he read a story in the Notre Dame alumni magazine.

But despite this “in”, Garrett was still dumbfounded when, four days after he mailed his letter, he received a call from Brogan at “The Tonight Show” studio.  Brogan had even gone to the trouble to find his phone number.

“I was floored!” Garrett said Tuesday during a telephone interview from Indianapolis.  “We talked for about a half-hour, 45 minutes.  Not just about comedy, but about Notre Dame and everything.  I mean, this guy – he’s legendary.  I mean, he’s behind a lot of the guys that you hear about.  It was just awesome.”

Since then, the two have talked at least once a month.  Then, after seeing Owen Smith on “Star Search” a few months ago, Garrett got an even crazier idea: What about a show teaming the three comics?  Sure enough, Brogan and Smith went for the idea, so Irish eyes won’t just be smiling, they’ll be doubled over in laughter when they make their premiere at Notre Dame Friday night.

When Brogan learned that Garrett’s hometown was just a few hours away from Notre Dame, he immediately wanted to take their show on the road.  Garrett, who is also an entertainment history buff, can’t imagine a more fitting venue than the Lincoln, which once played host to the Three Nightingales – later known as the Marx Brothers.

“I was, like, wow, this is awesome!” said Garrett, who will serve as the show’s emcee and open with his own 20-minute monologue.  “I mean, they’re just the coolest guys.  I’m really looking forward to it.  Of course, I’m telling my friends, ‘Forget me, man.  These other two guys are huge!”

The truly funny thing about all this is that none of the three had any notion of going into comedy at Notre Dame.

Brogan earned a degree in sociology in 1970, but went on to appear with David Letterman and become chief writer and talent coordinator for Jay Leno.  Owen Smith graduated in 1995 with a degree in finance, but was soon in demand on “Comedy Central,” NBC’s “Friday Night,” and BET’s “ComicView”.

Garrett, a graduate of Wesclin High School, had never even been on stage when he graduated from Notre Dame with a degree in accounting in 1998.  Comedy usually isn’t a big thing with number crunchers; after all, Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan hasn’t exactly been a barrel of laughs recently.

“I know,” Garrett quipped.  “I don’t know what his problem is.”

Garrett’s thinking began to change after landing a job with PricewaterhouseCoopers in St. Louis after college.  During a month long training session in Pasadena, Calif., Garrett began going to comedy clubs.  He was not overly impressed with the talent even at such big-name clubs as The Improv and The Laugh Factory.

“There were some comics – there were a lot of comics, actually – who just weren’t nearly as funny as what I had seen on TV,” Garrett said.  “So in my own head, I’m thinking, man, you know, at least I wouldn’t be the worst.  And, this is L.A.!”

Garrett admits he always has been a clown, so it didn’t take long a PwC to start feeding on his colleagues’ behavior as a source for his Dilbert-like humor.

“What I realized when I was at the firm was that people get so wrapped up in their job, they forget about their life,” Garrett said.  “I mean, these people have kids and they were missing birthdays and things.  I was like, man, your job is not that important.  Take a step back and laugh about some stuff, you know?”

Soon he and a friend were writing a monthly tongue-in-cheek e-mail “newsletter” ribbing both the company and their colleagues’ corporate behaviors.

“It actually became like this cult phenomenon,” Garrett said.  “It we were late, people actually started writing us.  It was like, wow, there’s actually a deprivation of comedy here.  Is your job so painful that you actually look forward to my newsletter?”

With more encouragement from friends, Garrett decided to take the spotlight at the Westport Funny Bone in St. Louis during an open mike night on Feb. 1, 2000.  It almost never came off.  When his skeptical parents expressed apprehension the night before, Garrett decided to win them over by going over his routine.  John and Bonnie Garrett responded by sitting there like the great stone faces on Mount Rushmore.

“They did not laugh, did not smile,” Garrett recalled.  “My dad actually said, ‘You can’t say that! That’s mean!’  I was like, crap, maybe I’ve picked stuff that was just funny to me!  So I ran over to a friend’s apartment and went down some of the ideas and they were like, ‘Yeah, that stuff’s funny.”

With notecard in hand, Garrett also won over the Westport audience.  Afterward, the headliners came up to compliment his material and stage presence.

“Even my parents were roaring,” Garrett said.  “So, now, whenever I bounce an idea off of them and they say, no, that’s not funny, I’m like, yeah, remember the first time?”

Since then, Garrett has had an on-again, off-again comedy career.  During his days in Milwaukee, he was discouraged by poor treatment from club managers and other comics.  But now that he’s back in Indianapolis as a senior business analyst with Clarian Health, he’s performing at least twice a month, mixing wit with astute observation.

“Some guy last week after the show came up to me and said, ‘You know, John, everything you accountants do is all numbers and money, money, money,’” Garrett said.

“I was like, no way, man.  So, I got into my Dollar rent-a-car eating a Payday and listening to Johnny Cash.  Then, I went to The Dollar Store to get some Dimetapp and went home to watch a Penny Marshall movie on Nickelodeon.”

His colleagues continue to provide a never-ending source of material as well.

“Just a week ago, a guy wore this plain red golf shirt to work and some girl complimented him on it,” Garrett recalled.  “And, before you know it, he had like the orange one, the yellow one, the blue one and the green one.  It’s like, what’s your problem?  You’ve got six of the exact same shirt, just different colors.”

Right now, Garrett, 27, is taking the advice he got from Jay Leno and keeping his day job.  But Garrett could see the day when that changes.  Several months ago, Louie Anderson asked Garrett to open for him during an appearance near Cincinnati and is now considering Garrett as a possible opener during a future Las Vegas run.  Even if he couldn’t be on stage, Garrett would also enjoy writing.

“I know that isn’t all the glory and sometimes it’s more of a hassle, but I don’t need all of the limelight,” Garrett said.  “But if it works out, it works out.  If not, then I’ll be the best CPA comic since Bob Newhart.”